The Chubby Survivalist

Last week my parents decided to get rid of their old-fashioned 35″ HDTV CRT (non-flat screen) in favor of a larger flat screen they can wall mount.  We got the call that if I was willing to drive up to Nebraska for it, it was ours.  Woe is the day when a cutting-edge web developer like me is accepting technology hand-me-downs from his parents.  I drove the Mustang, which was kind of stupid for how big the TV actually is.  I literally had to unbolt the passenger seat to fit the TV in the back, then rebolt the seat for the trip back down to Kansas City.

On the trip back, I decided to make the most of the 180 miles by doing some “survival” driving.  Lately, I’ve gotten better and better at asking “what if?” in any given situation, like so:

• What if my car broke down somewhere remote?  What could I use from the car itself to aid in survival?
• What if someone tries to break into my car and steal the TV while I’m in the coffee shop?  What reflective surfaces can I use to keep the car in sight?
• What if disaster struck, and we had a long way to drive with no guarantees we’d be able to refuel along the way?  How would we stretch our fuel usage?

I previously tackled part of this problem in my post about long term gasoline storage, where I recommend keeping your vehicles’ gas tanks topped off so you always have gas to siphon when needed.  But what about conserving gas as you’re using it?  This brings me back to that 180 mile drive.  I decided to see just how much I could improve my mileage if I was creative about it.

I decided to go as close to 60mph as possible the whole drive down, with a couple exceptions.  First, never drive more than 5mph under the speed limit unless I’m behind a slower car so it’s “their fault”.  Second, I would attempt to politely tailgate a semi whenever possible, and I’d be willing to go as fast as 70mph if it meant keeping up.

Drafting behind a semi requires a lot of concentration, and tact.  You don’t want to piss off the truck driver by tailgating, and you don’t want to get so far back that you’re not getting any benefit.  Let’s just say, on this particular day, I had more concentration than tact.  The first truck I drafted, I tried to stay out of site by trailing close enough that he couldn’t see me through the side view mirrors.  It’s not that hard, because there’s a long blind spot behind large trucks.

Sadly, around every curve I was out of the blind spot, and the driver got pissed.  I didn’t realize this at first, but he was bothered enough to take an offramp, and immediately get back on the interstate just to lose me.   Of course, he caught up to me right away because I had to slow down (no drafting).  This time, I just let him drive by, and didn’t tail him.  I’d obviously pissed him off, and that wasn’t my intention.

My next attempt, I stayed back a little further.  I figured some drafting benefit is better than none, and a happy trucker is better than one that wants to run me over.  This went better.  I didn’t have driver issues.

I’d topped off my tank right before the drive, so when I got into town I found a gas station and topped off my tank again.  Doing the math between the number of gallons I’d pumped and the trip odometer, I was able to figure out that I’d gotten 37mpg!  That’s insane in any Mustang, even my 6-cylinder.  My normal interstate mileage is 27mpg.  That was a 37% improvement using slower driving and drafting, and I even had a 200 pound TV in the back seat.

Especially after doing it myself, I do NOT recommend tailgating a trucker.  Not all of those guys would be as nice as my angry trucker was.  I could have gotten beat up at a rest stop, or possibly even pulled over if he’d radio’d a state trooper.  But I think you still get a good benefit from finding a slower-driving semi truck and following as close as safety and courtesy allow.

Our van gets about 25 mpg on the interstate, and has a 25 gallon tank.  That means normally, we’d have a range of about 600 miles.  If survival driving can increase that by 10%, and we have just 10 extra gallons that we siphoned from the Mustang, the family van would have a range of over 1,000 miles.  I’m sure we’d be more weighed down with supplies as well, but it’s still promising.

Survivalist 550 mil spec paracord braided belt

UPDATE: Please read about my new and improved paracord survival belt!

I know what you’re thinking, and it goes a little something like this:

“How can I combine my survival skills, fashion sense, and need to hold up my pants into one beautiful, functional work of art?”

The answer, my friend, is the survivalist belt.  It’s braided out of 550 mil-spec paracord.  That’s parachute cord, to the layman.  It’s worth explaining the value of paracord itself before we continue.

Government-approved parachute cord is one of the cheapest, strongest, and most genius ropes out there.  Weighing about half a pound per 100 feet and measuring just a quarter inch thick, this heavy duty nylon cord is strong, resists mold, and is easy to carry anywhere.  You can buy 100 feet for $7-10.

The key to 550 parachute cord’s strength is its construction.  The core is made of 14 strands of nylon, paired off and twisted to form 7 strands which each have a strength rating of over 35 pounds.  They are covered in a nylon sheath that makes the cord smooth, and adds to the overall strength.

The survival uses for paracord are many.  You can use the rope to build strong shelter, traps, suspend supplies above ground, and make repairs.  You can even separate the paracord into its individual strands for sewing, stiches, or fishing line.  Next to a quality knife, this is one of the best survival tools.

A survivalist belt braided from 550 paracord is a great way to carry about 60 feet of this wonder cord with you everywhere.  I made one last night in a couple hours while I caught up on some television.  This was my first attempt, so I’m sure I’ll get faster.  And after trying it on, nobody would know it wasn’t made in a factory somewhere in China.  It also happens to be the most comfortable belt I’ve ever worn.  Parachute cord is soft, with just a little bit of stretchiness.

The knots for a paracord belt are simple to start. Just fold the strands in half and loop them through the buckle.

I started with a 100-foot hank of paracord, an old belt buckle, a knife, a lighter, and electrical tape.  I used the knife to cut five strands of paracord, each 14 feet in length.  The number of strands you can fit is limited by the size of your buckle, so only cut what you need.  That left me with about 30 feet of paracord to spare.  I used the lighter to singe and melt the freshly cut tips, so that they don’t fray.  A few seconds to melt the tips is all it takes.

Next, I folded each strand in half, and looped it through the buckle as shown in the picture to the left.  That gave me 10 strands to braid.  To start, twist the middle two strands, right over left.  Then you twist the two strands to the left, interweaving with the first two like a basket.  Do the same with the two strands to the right of the middle, interweaving with the already-twisted strands.  Repeat these steps for any remaining strands, working your way from the inside out.

There are much better instructions for doing this, including over a dozen pictures of the process.  I just didn’t want to duplicate effort by retyping and taking new pictures.  Once you’ve gotten all strands into the mix, you continue by simply braiding one side’s  outermost strand all the way to the middle, then doing the same with the outer strand on the other side.  Keep squishing the belt together and pulling the paracord strands tight with every braid, especially the inner two strands.

Using five 14-foot strands folded in half to make a 10-strand flat braid, I was able to end up with a belt just over five feet long.  I only trimmed about 4-6 inches from the end of each strand, so I have about 65 feet of survival paracord should I ever need it.  I’m a big guy, and I had belt to spare.  Thinner people may find themselves with too much belt, but paracord is cheap and you can always trim down, so start out big.

The tip of my survivalist paracord belt is just carefully wrapped electrical tape for now.

When I got to the end, I used electrical tape around the braid to keep it in place while I trimmed the tips and singed the ends with the lighter.  Not having anything else handy to use for the tip, I folded more tape over the exposed tips, then wrapped another layer around them for good measure.  I plan to hide that part of the belt when I wear it.  I’m sure it’ll be easy to find a better solution later.

The total cost of this project was $7 for the paracord at Cabela’s.  I had the other materials, including the buckle from an old belt.  It took a couple hours, but it’s easy to do during “lazy” time.  Try one for yourself, it’s fun!